My mommy is older than many other mommies of babies my age. The average age for first time mothers varies by country from as young as 18 to as old as 31. Most have their average age for a first baby around the mid twenties. By the time I was born, my mommy was in her mid thirties.
There are good and bad things about having an older mommy. In my eighteen months of life I have managed to observe some of the differences between younger mommies and older mommies. Here is my list of the pros and cons of an older mommy.
I was not an accident, mishap, or even a surprise. My entry into the world was completely planned. Once my mommy decided it was time for a baby to come into her life, she chose the ideal time for her pregnancy and made a calendar so that she would know when I began to exist. Mommy marked down her menstrual period on her calendar, and waited for the next one. I wasn’t going to waste any time and took the first opportunity I was given. There are no other periods marked down on mommy’s calendar.
My mommy had her twenties for herself and she lived them selfishly and recklessly. Mommy had her carefree days and her wild nights. She lived that life until she was good and tired of it and now that she has traded her high heels and lipstick for a mom bun and yoga pants, she has nothing pulling her back to the life she left behind. That chapter was well written but it was time to move on.
While mommy was a wild woman by night, she was a career woman by day. She chased her goals and ambitions for over a decade before I came along. Mommy got the promotions and the money that came with them. She made her life comfortable and well prepared for me. I want for nothing.
Mommy had over a decade to work on her relationship with daddy. They know each other well and there is a level of comfort that can only come with time. When I arrived into this family, it was already a fully functional unit and not a budding romance trying to work around a baby. Mommy and daddy were able to put their relationship to simmer on the back burner and focus solely on me.
Because mommy and daddy had all that time to work on their careers, our financial situation is much more stable. As a result, when mommy’s maternity leave ran out and she wasn’t ready to leave me in the care of someone else, mommy was financially able to quit her job and become a full-time mom. Daddy had a decade to work on his career too and he is able to earn enough to keep this family afloat.
Mommy’s body is taking much longer to revert back to its before pregnancy state. Mommy’s back hurts, her knees ache, and it’s that much more difficult to lose the baby weight. From the beginning of the third trimester of mommy’s pregnancy, to about eleven months after I was born, mommy’s back pain was so bad that she was barely able to function. The only thing that kept her going day after day was the fact that I needed her.
It is unlikely that I will have more than one sibling and it’s possible the I will have none at all. With every passing year a pregnancy becomes more risky and prone to complications. There are only so many years left where mommy will be willing to take that risk before the danger becomes too high.
My alone time with mommy is limited. If I am to have any siblings, they will have to come along sooner rather than later. We don’t have the luxury of waiting until we’ve had our fill of our one on one time. Mommy isn’t quite ready to take on a second baby right now, but that clock is ticking and time is running out. Soon mommy will have to try for that second pregnancy and then I’ll have a little brother or sister taking attention away from me.
Mommying can be lonely and it doesn’t help when the other mothers are ten years younger. Every mommy needs someone to talk to. Preferably someone who understand what she is going through and can relate to how she is feeling. Some of my mommy’s concerns are quite different from the concerns of a twenty-five year old mommy. Luckily mommy is not completely alone. Younger mothers and those that are on their second trip around the block can still provide some companionship.
I’m sure as time goes on this list will grow. New challenges will emerge and others will be avoided. Is it better to be a younger mommy or an older one? There are two sides of this coin and the answers don’t come easy. Maybe this question is best answered with another question. Does mommy regret waiting?
There are times when mommy wishes she didn’t have to cope with the difficulties that come along with being an older mommy, but she doesn’t lose sight of the fact that she had to feel ready to welcome me into her life. Mommy went into motherhood with no doubts and no fears. There was no question in her mind. She knew the time had come and there is great value in that knowledge.